Alice Cooper Slams Mumford & Sons And The Lumineers, I Slam Alice Cooper Back

Written by | July 14, 2013 0:06 | No Comments

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Mumford you big bag of flab, I vant to suck your coloring and corn syrup

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Recently, Alice Cooper slammed bands such as Mumford & Sons and the Lumineers for not being rock’ n’ roll, and as much as I don’t want to defend them and their brand of commercial predictable banjo-plucking folk revival, what Cooper is saying is simply ridiculous.

First of all he should attack EDM and the whole electronic scene, because this what young people want to listen these days, and his idea that good old rock’ n’ roll is still alive shows his total disconnection with ‘this generation’ as he called them. Then his bloody argument that people need to eat a steak and stop being vegetarian, have ‘blood pumping in their system’ in order to be true rock’ n’ roll is beyond laughable. He is not a second-degree-kind-of-guy so I believe he is saying this in the most literally sense of the term. This is a guy who has built his whole career on the false presumption he killed a chicken on stage, whereas he just threw a dead chicken back at the audience, and this is also a guy who thinks rock shows should bath in blood of sacrificed animals whereas he has never actually killed a real animal and the blood has never been real,… it was just good enough for publicity. So don’t tell me to be gory on stage Alice when it’s all food coloring and corn syrup!

 Anyway, the toughest guys I know are vegetarian and could kick Alice Cooper’s ass before he could say welcome to my nightmare! Is he even aware that the whole straight edge hardcore culture is based on vegetarianism? Ian MacKaye doesn’t look like a wimp to me and there are too many vegetarian punk hardcore bands to name them.

He completely lost me when he revealed his real idea of rock bands: the Foo Fighters and Greenday! He may got it right when he said you have to be an outlaw to be rock’ n’ roll, but the problem is that Cooper doesn’t know much about being an outlaw, it’s a little bit more than eyeliner, Halloween make-up and crazy woman shrieks. In real life Alice Cooper is a republican, a born again Christian who has declared that he ‘believes the Old Testament explicitly’, that ‘the world was created in seven days’ and that ‘God has a plan for everybody’,… and those are the true signs of an outlaw. Alice Cooper is an idiot, he may have contributed to rock music in the past, but he is so irrelevant,… real rock bands don’t have an accordion? What about Arcade fire, Gogol Bordello, the E street band, the Pogues,….? Even Greenday has used an accordion, so much for being so rock’ n’ roll!

Nobody is afraid to be in a rock band Alice, you should stop listening to the top 40 and go out more often.

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