Beyoncé And Jay Z To Divorce

Written by | April 1, 2018 7:52 am | No Comments

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With the OTR 2 tour months away, news has arrived that Jay Z and Beyoncé are divorcing. A statement early this morning announced that the high profile superstars of r&b and rap are divorcing (note: “not separating”) after ten years of marriage. Naturally social media has exploded with the following being the biggest rumors.

1 – Jay Z cheated again.

2 – Beyoncé, who has identified as queer for many years now, plans to come out.

3 – Jay Z is jealous that Beyoncé has become more popular and during a terrible fight, beat her.

So now they are about to embark on a huge tour while their future together is seriously jeopardy, and that is after Jay’s mea culpa 4:44 -his worse selling album ever.

According to sources close to the couple, they will either not perform together, or rework the entire set so that it is a satire of “The Sonny And Cher Show,” including a new single, “Going For Broke” which samples “I’ve Got You Babe” and is a potential smash hit.

Beyoncé is said to be extremely relieved to be done with him, and Jay Z has been on a bi-sexual spree including sexual contact with Tyler The Creator and a stable of young white boys, as well as Becky with the straight hair. Jay Z is moving back to Manhattan where he was seen last night holding court at 40/40, and  an unknown, extremely attractive, woman,was seen moving into  their house.

We live in a world where this could be a publicity stunt  and they change their minds closer to the tour dates (neither MetLife show has sold out…) or it could be an April’s Fool joke…

 

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