Happy New Year, Save My Spot
Ahh here we go my friends the end of a year, the start of a new. Long gone are the days of glitzy New Years Parties with confetti and hats. Most people are asleep by 10 despite what you see on social media. Most people don’t give a toss about the calendar change- they just want the day off. Majority that is- of course there are the neighborhood gatherings the corner bar meetups the idiotic Grange gatherings where Minnie’s pot luck baked ziti crusts over and everyone calls it great. Times Square still fills up with idiots on the farm, like animals in corals now with corporate sponsors passing out their swag so it gets some free air time. People freeze and wave and smile and piss in their adult diapers so they don’t have to leave ‘their spot’
And so is the world. Pissing in our diapers so as not to move. We don’t want to change we don’t want to make effort we want ‘our spot’ and hell if we have to soil ourselves to keep it gosh darnit we will. Some things change regardless of our efforts.. People die. Lots of musicians did in 2016 and as each solider fell they became legends ‘best ever’ they were going to ‘be missed’ our hearts broke we shared their work. We never fucking new them anyway… yet for some it was like losing a best friend. Bowie decided to check out and personally it was a shocker. The ‘Blackstar’ “Lazarus” conspiracy theorist had a grand time- and I could care less about that. I haven’t listened to Blackstar yet- and I don’t intend to cuz that aint the Bowie I know. Prince, George Michael, Leon Russell, Sharon Jones, Leonard Cohen, Merle Haggard, Glen Frey, that guy from Earth Wind and Fire, some country singers, some people who were like 100 or whatever dead dead dead.. Legends.. Best ever.. Forever forgot…I mean remembered. Spin a disc hit, hit play YouTube it… you’re just as close to them now as you were when they were alive. Yeah shake it.
Music moved on and me? I didn’t. I spent the year in my own personal time warp. So while my child and my darling Iman raved about performers like Chance the Rapper or Anderson Paak, I was knee deep in Simon and Garfunkel and ELO. Yeah, carry on you two- keep it current Ill keep it steady. See I can’t dig that new stuff. Ask Iman, it takes about 4 years for me to find a ‘new thing’, if I do at all. I’m ok with that. I’m like the fucking Brooks Brothers of music. Classic, predictable and classy as fuck. Well when I’m not listening to filthy rotten 80s punk but even that is classy now right?
2016 gave me the best concert of my life. At age 50 that’s pretty impressive. Elvis Costello and I spent 2 nights together. One in Boston, which confused my heart and one in Wallingford Connecticut that restored my faith in his magic. Squeeze had me literally mesmerized and The Pretenders opening for Stevie Nicks gave me time to pause and pray to my Goddess Chrissie Hynde who unveiled a happy healthy sassy woman who was sadly absent when I saw her in 2015. Lil Wayne, Bob Dylan, The Killers…an odd but rewarding year of live music. No riots, no mishaps no great disappointments…status quo. Well aside from Kanye West who was freaking awesome and despite being in the greatest physical pain of my life had me nearly dancing (cuz I don’t dance) on his floating surfboard stage at the TD Garden. Physical limitations kept me away from Morrissey and Cat Stevens and they’re both sad about it (as am I), but hey 2017 Ill be back in ninja form, right?
2017.. sounds cool doesn’t it? Sexy and serene 2017? Shall I do it.. Should I do it.. Do I say the T word? President Trump is sure to offer us some nice juicy fodder for new music. Rebel rock will blow up- of course the economy will be so weak we won’t have the ability to hear it but it’ll be bubbling in the alleys and in the basements and in the work camps he will soon have created. Stoked. How punk. How rock and roll…. How scary.
Life is getting easier for the music fan. No longer do we need to save up our money and hop a bus to a shop on release day to hear our favorite new stuff. In fact we don’t have to leave ‘our spot’ at all. With Spotify, YouTube, Pandora, and a zillion others we can hear it without lifting an ass cheek If we are fortunate enough to be able to spare $10 a month (less than a cup of coffee…) we can get all we can handle any time we want. I do that.. and I listen to the same thing every day which goes to show- I’m …consistent. I may be the only person on Earth to subscribe to XM Radio and listening only to the 70s and ‘First Wave’ stations- as if there will be something new released. Dig that. BUT and it’s a big but, if I desired something new, I could get it with a finger pop. Yeah, if I wanna…
So if you’ve come here to find out what I anticipate will be the hot stuff of 2017 you have come to the wrong place. The hot songs of 2017 are from 1977 and maybe 1987 but as for forward thinking.. nah, youll have to see Iman on that one.
Im the Marlboro red of music predictable, comforting and eventually will kill you Happy New Year kids- try not to fuck it up.