I’m Your #1 Fan!

Written by | December 8, 2017 4:26 am | No Comments


The word ‘fan’ comes from the word ‘fanatic and the definition of the word fanatic sums it up perfectly. “A person filled with excessive and single-minded zeal…”

Let’s discuss.   To be a fan of a sports team gives you the right to say “We should have got that point” “We’re going to win”, ‘We’, we we we …as if your ass was on the field playing along, as if your $19.99 jersey legit makes you a member of the team.  News Flash- you’re not.  You’re a Dorito eating blob on a couch barking at a piece of glass like they can hear you or would follow your suggestion if they did.  Knock it off, shut up and pass the dip.

That’s sports- so what about fanatic music? This is a music site right?  There is an odd one upping in the fan world.  Who’s a bigger fan, who knows more who’s dedicated hours of their sad little life to memorize the toast color Dave Grohl prefers?  And more importantly why do we care?  Boy oh boy do we care.

When I was a wee one how I loved Shaun Cassidy. Fan magazines showed him drinking Sprite, darn tootin I was beggin for it on the weekly shop.  I was 8… I. was. EIGHT.

So what is it that makes grown human beings obsess and preach their, know it all stance on entertainers and am I supposed to be impressed?

Let’s start with the second question “am I supposed to be impressed”, well sometime. Rock NYC chief editor and my chief squeeze, Iman Lababedi knows everything.. everything about music.  Every release, every nuance every clink.  He can rattle off some pretty cool facts- mostly solicited or in proper context such as a piece he has written.  This is what we call in society.. tact.  Look that one up yourself.  But what about the other side?  The unsolicited militant side?  I hit that far too often and to be frank, its one of the reasons I stopped writing on a regular basis.

Me: “Elvis Presley had black hair.” Comment: “it was actually blue black Clairol #123, he used that particular color from 1971-1974 when it was discontinued and he began using Clairol #124 blackstrap molasses. He kept this on for 11 min before rinsing in his own urine.”

Am I impressed? No.  Instead I think this is a sort of mental illness.

So that leads to the real question, what makes an otherwise normal adult human completely obsessed with intricacies of entertainment and why do they feel the need to flex that knowledge muscle without a buzzer and Alex Trebec offering the Daily Double? I don’t know.

I guess I’m just not that big a fan of anything. I must be missing out on the fun. The fun of mentally sparring if Elvis Costello wears boxers or briefs and what brand Morrissey’s cologne is and who did what and with what and whom etc etc.

There is a big difference from being scholarly on a topic and being a douchebag about it. As with anything delivery is the key.  If you want to insult my mother because I didn’t know the year Bob Seger wrote “Night Moves your plate is far too empty and there are medications that can help you.  If you feel compelled to knock people for their lack of intricacy of knowledge, well youre  just a bully and if you just can’t contain yourself to disprove the most trivial of things, then my response is the same.  Knock it off, shut up and pass the dip.


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