Is Bono Gay?
People email me, stop me in the street, hound me with calls late at night and they all want to know is: Is U2 lead singer Bono gay.
Sure, the masses will gossip about the actions of the great and nobody is claiming that there is any reason why Bono shouldn't be gay if he wants to. I mean, he has a dick, he is a dick so why not suck a dick. right?
Now, the naysayers might point to his being married to his High School sweetheart for decades, with whom he has children, his hanging with world famous chick models in bathtubs (if you see what I mean) and there never having been a whisper of a rumor till I just started it here.
But the case for his being gay is pretty damn damning.
1. He is Catholic and was probably an alter boy
2. That album, Boy… did you see its cover?
3. He hangs with four grown man and a tubby gay looking Queen Bitch manager.
4. He lives next door to The Edge… can't get enough of his close close friend?
5. Speaking of which… having spent all that time together, I bet they've measured each others dicks…
6. Plus, you know Irishmen and penis size… might wanna borrow a bigger one.
7. For a rock star, Bono has a fuck of a lot of pent up latent homosexual hero worship… I have looked into Bono's heart and it's hard as rock.
8. And now he has joined the world of Broadway Musicals, the gayest Kingdom of them all…
9. To write songs for a teenage boy in skintight leotards.
So in conclusion, dear reader, I have proven beyond a reasonable doubt and with zero proof whatever, that Bono is as bent as a nine bob note. Next up: President Clinton, boy toy blows a good horn…