Jam Today: Tuesday, December 26th, 2017

Written by | December 26, 2017 10:10 | No Comments

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Theatre: I took my three year old great-nephew James to  “Spongebob Squarepants,” last Saturday. The great thing about three year olds is if you are are bored silly at intermission you can just tell them it’s over. Sure, I am not the demo (neither is James, neither is anyone else), even so,quite why Nickelodeon green lighted an apocalyptic nightmare about the death of everything for a family friendly piece of fiction I have no idea. At least James loved the cupcakes…

Santa Claus: Of all the fictional characters, Santa Claus is the most dangerous. You know the reasons so here are the three worst: 1 – If you are poor, your parents are left with one of two options 1 – Tell you the truth and ruin your illusion. or 2 -Tell you you are on the naughty list. Talk about a Hobson’s, or do I mean Sophie’s, choice. It is really terrible, it equates poverty with naughtiness, it should be tarred and feathered. 2 – If you are not Christian you can not participate but unlike, say, Islam, where you get gifts at the end of Ramadan clearly from your parents, it is pan-humanism, you don’t have to be Christian to waste your money. I was raised a Muslim in England circa the late 1950s and early 1960s, and trust me it was bizarre and troubling. My Aunty Paula used to drop by on Christmas Eve with presents and since we didn’t believe I got to open em immediately, and then I’d rewrap the gift, put it under the tree and pretend Santa brought it… 3- Since we are bound to deal with to God or not to God our entire life, how does it help ANYONE to start the proceedings with a false God.

Christmas And New Year: I love the season, true, but that depression in the New Year is like the worst hangover ever. And from there for the next three months you are an icicle in the dark. Why not move the New Year to July where we can enjoy it properly? And still have the summer to look forward to.

What year is it? Perhaps humanity’s greatest achievement is that it still exists. We, even the Chinese,  are stuck with the Gregorian calendar but wouldn’t we be better off with the Chinese other calendar and call it 4714. Why aren’t we proud of our greatest achievement? Not killing us all to death.

New Music: The new Lil Wayne mixtape will make its way on my best albums of 2017, probably in the top thirty. Otherwise, the Gucci Mane and the Travis Scott and Quavo albums are pretty good.

Old Music: Up to my neck in the Impressions, I am putting that on hold for a coupla days. Waiting for the Frank Sinatra Swing And Dance album from Amazon because I can’t find it online. I may push McCartney forward, but it is a huge Paul album for me, and I don’t want to rush it.

Apologies: I have a rotten cold and couldn’t write much yesterday. Last year Alyson and I took these two weeks off, this year we decided to work through them. There are so few options that it isn’t a good time to go black, at least we’re here if you’re lonely.

Sports: I had tickets to see the Knicks yesterday, but was too ill to go. We got killed by the 76ers… is that the end of another season???

Travels: I have my eye on Vegas for 2019… why? I know for sure Lady Gaga will get on stage in time during her 74 date residency at the MGM Park Theater.

Concerts: Phish and The Pointer Sisters this week, Jessi Mason and Dave Matthews the following week.

POTUS: Another light at the end of the tunnel: like Obama before him, Trump rules by executive fiat and executive fiat is easy to overturn. So when he decides to move the capital from the swamps of DC to the literal swamps of Montgomery, it will be easy to get it back.

 

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