Morrissey 25 Live, The Theatrical Review

Written by | August 31, 2013 0:10 am | No Comments


let me kiss you oh ho ho
















Look, I know we reviewed this film but that was the press room.  Mary Magpie and I ventured out to the theater to see it and let me tell you something.. sitting in the second row you see Morrisseys pores- no lie.

The place was empty.  Not a huge surprise considering I went to a suburban town in Connecticut to see it.  I was disappointed as I knew there would be no chanting and no sing backs but I was pleased too so I could snap pics and text if need be and apparently I needed to cuz there is much to discuss.

1- Where is Morrisseys ass?  That man is a poster boy and his jeans were so loose i thought he was trying to bust a sag like a gangstah. But then again apparently I am Morrisseys ass.

2- Moz wears yellow nail polish.  Not bright but more of a goldish yellow.  It was distracting

3- Boz is cute but I think Moz was miffed at him

4- we are all Morrisseys slaves.  ‘I’m Helen Bach, and I breathe for Morrissey’

This being said the songs were more profound.  I cant believe how powerful the near American Horror Story film edit prior to “Let Me Kiss You” was.  I have no idea but with strobe and stop animation it was disturbing as hell.  I expected Jessica Lang to step on stage.  Luckily she didn’t.

I also noticed Mozzer had some odd arm band on his right lower arm.  Maybe he got a tattoo of me on his! What tribute!! But actually I think he was hiding something, just dont know what.  IV bruise?  Dunno

Lets face it kids if you’re not a Morrissey fan this is just a concert footage with a really unattractive audience.  I do mean that as well, from the doughy to the confused. It was a hipster buffet.  I will say that if little 9 year old Devin’s dad was in front of me with his fucking kid on his shoulders for two hours I would have pushed the fucker off.  That was so unnerving like a sacrificial offering.  What was most disturbing was Moz hoisting the little wanker across the stage like a tree trunk.  The kid was bewildered and Moz was grossed out and I dont care what anyone says, that bit was just creepy.

But “Speedway” is glorious and “Throwing My Arms Around Paris” was awesome and I fucking love Morrissey so I would never have a negative but I do have an observation.

There were times in this film when he looked very old. Very.  Well beyond his years old.  It seemed over the course of the film he actually got younger, became more animated and more lively.  Does the crowd control the Moz or the Moz control the crowd? I dunno but it showed.

Viva Moz..


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