Two Ways To Make A Fool Of Yourself If You Are A Rock Star
There are basically two ways for rock-pop-rap stars to attract the world’s attention, the Kanye West way, meaning proclaiming you are the ultimate gold-god shit and making a fool of yourself, and the Gallagher way (either Liam or Noel) meaning insulting everybody around you and making a fool of yourself.
While Kanye continues to cultivate his self-important Patrick Bateman look in Paris, browsing chic architecture, cool European art and thinking that his influential mind will master the world soon – read his last interview with W, it just takes the cake one more time… As a matter of fact, I can’t resist posting this excerpt coming from Kanye’s angry mouth:
‘Cause it’s like, Yo! Nobody can tell me where I can and can’t go. Man, I’m the No. 1 living and breathing rock star. I am Axl Rose; I am Jim Morrison; I am Jimi Hendrix.’ […] ‘You can’t say that you love music and then say that Kanye West can’t come to your show! To even think they could tell me where I could and couldn’t go is just ludicrous. It’s blasphemous—to rock ’n’ roll, and to music.’
So this is the West way and I wonder how far he will go with this humorless ego-trip! But then there is the Gallagher way, which goes in the opposite and humorous direction: instead of talking about themselves, they mention other people, just to insult them:
When Jack White accepted to write a song for Coca Cola, Noel didn’t let him get away with it, and declared:
‘Jack White has just done a song for Coca-Cola. End of. He ceases to be in the club. And he looks like Zorro on doughnuts. He’s supposed to be the poster boy for the alternative way of thinking… I’m not having that, that’s fucking wrong. Particularly Coca-Cola, it’s like doing a fucking gig for McDonald’s.’
Of course the Gallagher brothers have endorsed Toshiba 803 MP3 mobile phone during a tour, but that’s beyond the point, Jack White was wearing this thin mustache and black hat all the time, and so the ‘Zorro on doughnuts’ was funny as hell, inventive and true!
But the Gallagher brothers have insulted the whole musical world, from Keith Richards and George Harrison, ‘They’re jealous and senile and not getting enough fucking meat pies’, to Pete Doherty, ‘What does the word Libertine mean? Freedom! He’s in the corner doing smack with a helmet on his head. There’s nothing free about that. It’s nasty’, Ozzy Osbourne, ‘How come everyone thinks he’s great? He’s a bit of a fooking mong, if you ask me’, Green Day’s Billie Joe Armstrong, ‘Fuck right off. I’m not having him. I just don’t like his head’, Coldplay, ‘Chris Martin looks like a geography teacher. What’s all that with writing messages about Free Trade? If he wants to write things down I’ll give him a pen and a pad of paper. Bunch of students’, George Harrison, ‘I still love George Harrison as a songwriter in the Beatles, but as a person I think he’s a fucking nipple. And if I ever meet him I’ll fucking tell him’, Bono, ‘Play ’One’, shut the fuck up about Africa’, Bob Dylan, ‘I know all about him and that, but he’s a bit of a miserable cunt as far as I’m concerned. I like that tune he did ‘Lay Lady Lay’. People go nuts for him, but he doesn’t really do it for me’, Mumford And Sons, ‘I’m sure they’re all nice lads but that’s not for me. They look like fucking Amish people. I need music to be a bit more sexy and played by people who look a bit fucking dangerous’, Radiohead, ‘I heard that fucking Radiohead record and I just go, ‘What?!’ I like to think that what we do, we do fucking well. Them writing a song about a fucking tree? Give me a fucking break! A thousand year old tree? Go fuck yourself!’, rappers, ‘I fucking despise hip-hop. Loathe it. Eminem is a fucking idiot and I find 50 Cent the most distasteful character I have ever crossed in my life’, Paul McCartney, ‘… I don’t know, I think he’s just going senile, isn’t he?… Of course I have saved the best one for the end, as Liam Gallagher declared about Kanye West very recently when this one bumped his head on a street sign when trying to avoid paparazzi: ‘He’s a fucking idiot. You’ll never see Jesus banging his head’
I could go on and on, even if some insults are funny, everybody turns to be a f* moron or the equivalent and 5 insults later, it’s not that funny anymore…
Kanye’s grandiosity ignores everyone else, while the Gallaghers are always on somebody’s else back (or each other’s back), may be Kanye believes more in what he says than the Gallaghers, but at the end you get the same result, a desperate need for attention coming from monster egos.